182: Does a Weekday Wedding Cost Your Guests More Than It Saves You?

Have you ever received a wedding invitation and felt a ping of disappointment when you saw it was on a Wednesday? The excitement for your friend was real, but so was the mental load that followed. 

In this episode, we talk about weekday weddings from both the guest and engaged couple’s side of the situation. While the cost savings of a weekday wedding can be significant (like 30-40% off the venue alone), they come with real trade-offs for your guests. 

Couples who are considering a weekday wedding need to go into their planning with all the info they can get their hands on. From attendance rates and format options to handling family pushback, this episode gives you everything you need to decide whether a weekday wedding is genuinely right for you. 

Resources Mentioned:

RSVPify 83% baseline figure for standard weddings, based on their analysis of millions of wedding RSVPs: https://rsvpify.com/wedding-rsvps-guest-count-numbers-infographic/

Industry planning guideline: 65-75% weekday attendance estimate and 30% weekday venue cost reduction from Saturdays. 

Send Unbridely a 90-second audio message on Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/unbridelypodcast

*The Unbridely Podcast is sponsored by its listeners. When you purchase products or services through links on our website or via the podcast, we may earn an affiliate commission.*

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This episode of the Unbridely Modern Wedding Planning Podcast is brought to you by Never Miss Moments Unbridely's recommended wedding guest photo and video-sharing tool. With your unique QR code, your family and friends can quickly, easily and securely share their snaps with you in your personalised online gallery.

Visit nevermissmoments.com/unbridely to receive your 10% discount on your gallery.

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Unbridely acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we record this podcast on, the Kaurna People. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.

Transcript

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Have you ever been invited to a weekday wedding? Maybe it landed in your inbox on a particularly boring workday. A beautiful save the date, gorgeous design, your friends' faces are beaming back at you, and your first reaction was genuine excitement. You pumped for them. And then you scrolled down and you saw the date, and it was a Wednesday. While your excitement didn't disappear exactly, something in your reaction shifted. Because suddenly you weren't just thinking about what to wear or who else might be there. You were thinking about whether you could get the time off work. Whether your boss would be understanding, or whether, because you've already put in a request asking for leave and it's still sitting in front of them, if you'd even have a chance in hell of getting another day off. You're probably weighing up if you really want to be out drinking until midnight on a Wednesday, when you need to front up at work the next morning, or if you'd need to arrive to the wedding late because you won't be able to check out of work until five. Maybe you need to slip out early before the dancing even starts. The invitation came with with an extra hidden cost that was entirely yours to carry. And it's not like you don't want to attend. It's just that there are about half a dozen extra what ifs and how can I and barriers between you and celebrating your friends like you'd love to. And here's what I want you to hold on to as we get into today's episode. Now have a think about the engaged couple standing on the other side of that save the date. It's super likely that the reasons they chose a weekday wedding were really compelling and they didn't really feel like they had an option. We're talking about potential savings of up to 30 or 40% on the venue costs alone. And what if they're wanting a genuinely different kind of wedding day? One that's quieter and more intentional with vendors who are excited and truly present. Because weekday weddings, they feel more calm. And to be honest, I couldn't exactly tell you why that's the case. Guess it's just the sum of a lot of tiny things. So today I want to talk about both sides of the weekday wedding situation. I'm going to have a look at what a weekday wedding can save you, what it actually costs your guests, and how to make the decision in a way that you and the people you love can really feel good about. Let's get stuck into it. Unbridly is a community of pro-wedding vendors who believe in freedom and integrity in weddings, giving you options, solutions, tips and tricks to create the experience and memories that you and your fiance really want and deserve. Because we believe that weddings are a team sport with how-to's, stories and interviews with recently married couples. We find out what went right and what they'd changed if they could go back and do it all over again. I'm Camille and welcome to the Unbridly Podcast. Let's start with the biggest reason why weekday weddings are so bloody tempting in the first place, and that's the massively reduced costs. Because we're not talking about a small discount here. We're talking about the kind of saving that changes what your wedding can look like entirely. And it can mean the difference between struggling to save the money and perhaps needing to borrow from a family member, or pushing the date out further so you can save, or even taking out a loan. Because venue costs on a Saturday are peak pricing, easily still the most in-demand day of the week. And venues know this very well because they're inundated with requests for Saturday dates, and many of them are booked up for all Saturdays for up to a couple of years in advance. They price their Saturday offerings accordingly. But if you were to shift that same booking to a Thursday, you're typically looking, and it's not the same everywhere, but it's an average of about 30 to 40% of a reduction. If you're looking at a$10,000 venue hire, that means$3,000 to$4,000 back in your pocket before you've even looked at another vendor, another supplier, an outfit, or a honeymoon. And here is where it gets really interesting. The venue saving is often, not always, but often, just the beginning because a lot of vendors price in tiers that mirror that same logic. So photographers who are booked every Saturday throughout the year, they know they have excellent availability on a Tuesday. And some of them choose to negotiate their rates because of that. So please note that the flip side of this is some vendors believe that doing the same work, delivering the same quality product, you know, etc. etc., means that they charge the same as a Saturday on any other day of the week. And this is a business approach that's very different for everyone. But with some, Caterus, Floris, uh, AV companies, you know, whatever it might be, when the demand drops, so does the price. Not always, not with everyone, but often enough that the savings can genuinely compound for you. And there's also something else worth thinking about. When you consider your vendors' experiences at a weekday wedding, so imagine a wedding photographer who's shot three weddings in the past four days, you know, it might be across a long weekend or something like that. They've done Friday, Saturday, Sunday. That photographer is very different to one who has had a full week to rest and to prep. And while you hope that everyone who works on your wedding will show up excited, bursting with energy, someone working on a weekday wedding has a clear advantage. It's not a criticism of anyone, it's just the supply and demand of services that involve humans. Weekday weddings often get vendors at their most present because it's unlikely that they're doing back-to-back bookings on a weekday, and your day may be the thing they've been building towards all week. So the financial case for a weekday wedding is very real, it's not a scam. The question is, what are you really trading for those savings? The good old, but will our guests actually come dilemma. This is the biggest fear and the question that stops most couples before they even get started on a weekday wedding. So if we move our celebration to a weekday, will the people we love actually rock up? And I want to be honest with you, some of them might not. Here are a few figures to give you an idea. For a standard Saturday wedding with mostly local guests, that's a big differentiating factor. You can expect around 83% of the people you invite to actually show up. So you invite 100, you get roughly 83. That's your baseline. If you move that same wedding to Tuesday, Wednesday, that number drops to somewhere between 65 and 75%. So from your 100 invitations, you might be looking at 65 to 70 people on the day. And that's not nothing. That is potentially a table of 10 that just won't be there. But here's the part that's really interesting. The drop-off of guest who can't attend, it's not evenly spread across a guest list. Your closest people, your immediate family, your best friends, the people who would be absolutely devastated to miss your wedding, they show up at over 95%, regardless of the day of the week. The weekday attendance hit, you know, people who can't make it, it hits hardest on the outer rings of what I call the social onion. You know, if you imagine an onion with all its layers, I've talked about this before and I know it's insane, but this is how I think of wedding guests as an onion. It's your social onion. So right in the core, it's yourself and your fiance. The next layer is your immediate family and it keeps growing, right? Keeps going out. When you hit the outer rings, we're talking about the co-workers, um, the mates in your sporting team, extended, extended family, the friends of friends. That's when they won't go to as much trouble to make it to your wedding. Which means that the question you really need to ask yourself is not exactly will people come? It's more which people am I okay with them not attending? Or, in my opinion, should I really be inviting that extended, extended guests in the first place? And here's an additional change that has only happened in the past six to ten years. The assumption that a weekday wedding automatically means that a number of guests won't be able to make it is based on a version of the workforce of people who work that no longer exists for a decent chunk of people. So think about your actual guest list. So not a hypothetical one, like literally look at the names on your guest list, your specific closest people. Now, how many of them work flexibly, work from home a few days a week? They might be fully remote or they might work for themselves. How many have retired? How many would take a day of annual leave without a second thought for you? When couples actually go through their list person by person, they often find the number of guests who genuinely cannot make a weekday wedding is smaller than they feared. The guests who struggle most with weekday weddings tend to fall into a few different categories. And there's no hate, it's just they tend to work in similar industries. So people in shift-based industries, healthcare, um, hospitality is a big one, retail, you know, set hours, they can't easily swap the days that they work. People with very limited annual leave or who have already used most of it up recently, you know, if they've been on a massive several-week international holiday, it's a good chance they won't have any leave left. People who are paid by the hour and who would lose money by attending your wedding. And those with caring responsibilities that uh might be tied to school hours or people with a disability, elderly parents, or some sort of fixed schedule. And these are real constraints, they deserve real weight in your thought process. So if your closest people fall into those categories, a weekday wedding may not work for your guest list. And that's a completely valid conclusion to get to. But if a lot of your people have some flexibility, and for many couples planning right now they do, the maths look different. And I think you could be pleasantly surprised. So the question is not as much, can everyone come? It's more, can the people who matter most to us attend? And only you can answer that one. So good luck. Have a look through that guest list. Do you know what one of the biggest regrets of newly married couples is? They'll say, I wish I had more memories from my wedding day. It was my favorite day. And one of the smartest ways I've seen couples do this is by making sure that they arrange a quick, foolproof and really simple way to collect and share their guests' wedding photos. Because if you think about it, with an average wedding of, say, a hundred guests, with every one of them taking five photos or videos. I mean, they'll take much more, of course, but I'm talking about the good ones. That's an opportunity for you to collect and download 500 extra photos and videos of their perspective on your wedding day. The stuff that happened that you didn't even get to see. But your barriers are overly complicated instructions or processes. Let's face it, if it takes too long, forces your guest into registering, if you've got to use a certain social media platform, or it's just a pain in the ass. And I'm looking at you, Dropbox and Google Drive. Your family and friends just won't do it. And the tech fear and privacy concerns too, because no one wants to download yet another app that has a data breach. Never miss moments is an essential resource for busy soon-to-beweds just like you. Your unlimited photo and video gallery is held in a secure server for 12 months, and for your guests, it's a one-click QR code solution. There's no app to download, no need to register, and it's quick. Win-win. Your guests will be able to look back on and reminisce about your wedding, and your fam and friends' different perspectives of your wedding day is such an incredible lifelong gift for you too. The team at Never Miss Moments are obsessed with giving you the very best customer service, and I'm stoked to be able to pass on their special 10% off discount offer on their galleries when you go to never missmoments.com forward slash unbridly. So that's never missmoments, all one word, dot com forward slash unbridly, which, in case you don't already know, unbred. The discount will show up in your cart automatically. And of course, I'll pop the link in the show notes for you as well. And this might be a delightful little segue into considering who, for many couples, are the ones that do actually matter the most. And that is your immediate family, which brings in the time-honored pressure of expectations and the family factor. Because even if you and your partner are completely in sync, even if you've done all the maths, even if you know your guest lists can make it work, there is almost always one parent or a grandparent, brother or sister, future-in-law who has a very strong opinion about what a proper wedding looks like. And a Wednesday is not it. This pushback on weekday weddings can come in a few different ways. There's the practical and uh projected objection, you know, the one where they talk about others are going to have a problem with it when it's really themselves, and they say people won't be able to come. Then there's the traditionalist objection, which is weddings are on a Saturday. And then there's the emotional objection, which is the one which is hardest to argue with. And it's something super vague, like, oh, I just want your wedding to feel special. What I've found is that the practical objection is usually the easiest to work through because it is definitive and you can prove otherwise that's the people won't be able to come. You can go through your guest list together. You can look at who has flexibility and who doesn't. And you can have an honest, super clear conversation based on real life information rather than just assumptions and it's their fears as well. Quite often it's a parent who's really worried people won't be able to come. The traditional objection that's trickier, that's the one where they say weddings are on Saturdays. Um, because it's not really about a day of the week, it's about what that day of the week represents to them and their generation, usually. And that means it's a sense of occasion, it's a priority, and it's because their generation did work Monday to Friday, pretty much nine to five, you know, and so Saturday was a day of celebration. It's a day when you get to do things that are fun. And that perspective, it's worth taking seriously, even if you disagree. A reframe about the weekday weddings thing that I think can be pretty useful is that a weekday wedding is not a budget wedding dressed up. You know, it's not something to be embarrassed about, ashamed about, it's not a less than wedding. It's a deliberate choice to create a different kind of day. And nine times out of ten, that's one that is more intimate, more relaxed, and in many cases more memorable for the people who were there. And when you present the choice, the decision in that way, rather than leading with the cost savings, the conversation can land differently because you're not asking your usually family to accept less. You're inviting them into a more thoughtful and intentional occasion. Then there's the emotional objection. I just want your wedding to feel special. When I hear that, the first thing I think of is turning it back on them, like mirroring back to them, what is special? Like what are you actually talking about? Try asking what special actually means to them. And more often than not, their answer will be something about the atmosphere. They want it to feel intimate, unhurried, meaningful. And all those things, as we said, they're not exclusive to a day of the week, in this case, a Saturday. In fact, a smaller weekday gathering can deliver exactly that feeling, and sometimes more easily than a big weekend event where the schedule is running the day. You know, you just go, go, go, pillow to post, it feels like a sprint. All right. So you've thought it through, you've had the tricky conversations, I hope you went okay. And you are considering a weekday wedding. So let's have a look at what actually makes it work from a practical standpoint. The first thing to get right is the format. A traditional evening reception model, a ceremony at four, drinks at five, dinner at seven, dancing till midnight. It's a harder sell on a Wednesday than it is on a Saturday. It's not impossible. But the guests who are worried about that fronting up to work the next morning are probably going to be watching the clock. So a format worth considering is the long lunch. You have your ceremony in the late morning, reception through the afternoon, and you're done by six. Guests who need to travel home, get there at a reasonable hour, and guests who want to keep the party going can. And for those who do need to work the next day, they can be sensible, they can leave without feeling like they're bailing or letting you down. A day wedding also sort of creates a different atmosphere. It's a little, it's lighter, it's more relaxed, it's more like a gathering than a performance per se. Whatever format you choose, be clear with your guests about the order of the day up front. So if the ceremony is at 11 and you're done by 5:30, then say that really clearly on your invitations and or your wedding website. Give your family and friends the information they need to plan ahead and to be able to make an informed decision. The more clarity you give them, the less anxiety your guests will have and then carry into the day as well. And on the timing of the ceremony itself, if you have your heart set on an evening format, have a think about pushing the start time a little later rather than earlier. So a seven o'clock ceremony with dinner at 8:30 gives your guests who finish work at 5-ish time to get home, get ready, and arrive without rushing too much. It also means the reception will naturally wrap up at a more reasonable hour. And there's a few other practical things worth thinking through. So the first that really stands out to me is the accommodation side for guests who are coming in from out of town or just don't want to drive home after a few drinks on a school night. So is there somewhere close, easy, affordable for them to be able to stay? Or is your venue close to an area where they can get a ride share? These sort of details will mean that some of your guests will actually be able to attend where others might not. It reduces friction for them and it shows them that you've thought about their experience and their comfort and make things a little bit more complicated. Convenient for them too. And with annual leave. Some couples send their save the dates with a gentle note, just reminding the attendees that the date is a weekday and encouraging their guests to lock in their leave early if they're able to. This is a tricky one. I understand the thought behind it, but I don't know, feels a little, feels a little intrusive to me. But it's a small thing. It removes the mental load of guests having to figure out whether they should ask, and it signals that you're aware of the extra efforts they're going to to attend your wedding. So what do you think? Do you think a weekday wedding is right for you? Because they can absolutely work brilliantly for some couples and they're just not right for others. I feel like it's a little short-sighted to make the decision based purely on the savings alone, without thinking through what the consequences are and what comes with it. Here are four questions I'd love you to think about, you know, and answer for yourself before you make your decision. And the first one is who are your true non-negotiables? So there are people on every engaged couple's guest list whose presence is not optional. They might be a parent, a brother or sister, best friend of 20 odd years. You know the ones where if they didn't show, your wedding just wouldn't be the same without them. So before anything else, work out whether those specific people can make a weekday wedding work for you. And if they can't, that probably tells you what you need to know right there. Number two, what does your guest list actually look like? Go through it properly, not just the vibe check, but you know, seriously, what do your people do for work? What's their leave situation likely to be? Do they have caring responsibilities? Um, might be tied to school hours or school holidays. The more honestly you can answer that question, the more useful the answer's going to be. And how important is the everyone stay to the end feeling to you? Some couples just don't care if a few guests slip out early, and others would be heartbroken. Neither of those are wrong, but it's worth knowing which one you are before you commit to a format where early departures become more likely, right? Question three, what would you do with the savings that you make? So if the weekday savings means you can afford the photographer you have wanted all along, your dream photographer, or it means you're not starting your marriage in debt, that is a meaningful outcome and it's worth some trade-off, right? If the savings you're going to make are going to sit in an account and not actually change anything about your day-to-day life, then it might not be worth the added complexity for you and everyone else involved. Make sure it's worth it for you. And question number four, finally, are you happy with a decision to have a weekday wedding? Or deep down in your stomach, does it feel like a compromise? There is a version of the weekday wedding that is genuine and joyful and it's an intentional choice. And there's a version of a weekday wedding that is a Saturday wedding in a cheap dress that doesn't fit. Only you know which one yours would be. And if your answers to these four questions are all trending in the same direction, you probably know what the right thing to do is. That's my take on weekday weddings. The financial savings can be huge, but they can come with trade-offs for your guests, and those trade-offs deserve some honest attention, just as much as the money. The couples that do weekday weddings well are the ones who go in with their eyes open, who know what's coming, who have thought about their specific guest list, who've had the hard conversations, and who have chosen a weekday wedding because it actually fits with their vision rather than it was just the cheaper option. So if you're toying with this decision right now, I hope this helped you to think through it a little bit more clearly and know what your options are and how it might affect the way your wedding day feels. If you've already had a weekday wedding or you've been a guest at one, I would absolutely love to hear how it went. So come and find me over on Instagram at Unbridly and tell me everything. And until next time, celebrate your people. That about wraps it up for this episode of the Umbradly Podcast. For the links and resources we mentioned, please head to the show notes. And if you love the show, please review and subscribe on the podcast platform you're on now so you don't miss out on a single episode. Thanks so much for listening, and remember, weddings are a team sport. Catch you soon.