184: Do You Actually Need the Big Group Photo?

The big group photo. Your wedding photographer might be quietly dreading it. Your guests have mentally clocked where the bar is. And the chances of everyone having their eyes open at the same time are roughly fifty-fifty at best. So is it actually worth it?

By the end of this episode you will know:

• The recent history of the big group photo and how it changes how you think about it
• Why so many photographers have complicated feelings about this shot and what it really costs you on the day
• How the acceleration of wedding trends is reshaping what couples want from their photography, and
• What the legacy value of the big group photo actually is. 

You will also find out 4 questions you can ask yourself and your fiance to make sure your choice of the big group photo is an informed choice rather than a default tradition. 

RESOURCES

178: 8 Brilliant Wedding Tweaks From My Smart Couple (And How To Steal Them) 

Ep38: Yes You Need a Photo Captain (or 2) and This Is Why with Valentina Perez Studio

Luke John Photography

Marcel Van Der Horst Photography

Send Unbridely a 90-second audio message on Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/unbridelypodcast

*The Unbridely Podcast is sponsored by its listeners. When you purchase products or services through links on our website or via the podcast, we may earn an affiliate commission.*

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This episode of the Unbridely Modern Wedding Planning Podcast is brought to you by Unbridely’s ebook How To Write Wedding Vows That Don’t Suck 

https://unbridely.com/shop/htwwvtds

This is for YOU if you want to write the unique and heartfelt wedding vows your fiancé deserves, but don't know where to start. 🤔

AND want to get it done in 20 minutes or less. 💪

Grab your instant pdf download of the Unbridely ebook 'How To Write Wedding Vows That Don't Suck' for just $27 now! 🧡

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Unbridely acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we record this podcast on, the Kaurna People. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.

Transcript

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There is a moment that happens at almost every wedding that is completely unscripted and not in a romantic way. It's usually straight after the ceremony when a well-meaning celebrant or enthusiastic photographer says the magic words. Can we get everyone together for the group photo now? And suddenly a hundred odd guests scatter like cockroaches in the kitchen when the light goes on. The flower girl has been hurried off to the toilet, and someone's Uncle Jack has disappeared to find a better car park. Or the bar or the football scores. Nobody knows. If you're recently married or have been to a wedding lately as a guest or a vendor, you have lived this awkward dichotomy of social obligation and the urgent need to get a drink in your hand, ASAP. And if you're currently planning a wedding, there is a very good chance the big group photo is already on your shot list without you even questioning whether or not you want it or whether it needs to be there at all. Because it's just expected, right? So today we are going to question it because here's what I've noticed after close to two decades working in the Australian wedding industry. The big group photo is one of those things that almost every couple includes, and very few couples have actually stopped to think about it. They simply hand over the 10 to 20 minutes of their post-ceremony timeline because. So is it a photo worth taking? Is the time it takes to gather everyone and to get them close enough to each other worth it, or does it kill the vibe? And what are you actually capturing when you finally do get everyone into frame? Should you even bother? Or is it time better spent on other, dare I say it, more relevant things? By the end of this episode, you'll learn where the concept of the big group photo actually came from and why that history matters, why so many photographers have complicated feelings about this shot and what it actually costs you on the day, how rapidly changing trends are reshaping what couples want from their wedding photography year on year, and how to make an informed decision, whether you choose to keep it, ditch it, or do something a little different. Let's get stuck into it. Unbridly is a community of pro-wedding vendors who believe in freedom and integrity in weddings, giving you options, solutions, tips and tricks to create the experience and memories that you and your fiance really want and deserve. Because we believe that weddings are a team sport with how-to's, stories and interviews with recently married couples. We find out what went right and what they've changed if they could go back and do it all over again. I'm Camille and welcome to the Unbridly Podcast. Today we're talking about the big group photo. You know the one, the full guest lineup, everyone squeezed into one shot, sometimes cheering at the couple kissing, sometimes making silly faces. I've been chatting with recently married couples and wedding photographers over on Instagram this week, and they've brought up some very interesting perspectives that I want to share with you. They had some things to say that I think might shift how you think about this, because it definitely changed my perspective, and that doesn't happen frequently. So let's start with a little bit of history. So the big group photo does not have centuries of tradition behind it. Wedding photography itself only became an on-location practice in the late 1800s. Before then, you'd get married, and then if you were wealthy, you would go to a studio to get your portraits taken. And even when on-site on the day photographers became a thing, mainly due to the advances, accessibility, and portability of more modern cameras, they were mostly shooting posed groups outside the church, not documenting a full wedding day. It wasn't until after World War II, in the wedding boom era, that the idea of capturing the event itself on site and on the day really like became a thing. And what would happen is that some ex-military photographers would go to a church on a Saturday with portable cameras and the flashbulb lighting and would wait to shoot couples as they came out of their wedding ceremony. They would turn up, get everyone in frame, and then try to sell the prints afterwards. So they weren't booked or hired, they were just vying for business, like right there on the day. Kind of like paparazzi, but they weren't selling to the media, they were trying to sell to the couple. Film, as you can imagine, post-war, very limited at the time and expensive to buy. So getting every single guest into one single shot made practical and financial sense. So that full guest lineup photograph that many of us think of as a wedding tradition only came about 70 to 80 years ago. And it came about because of what I just spoke about, those limits of the times and scarcity and the specific cultural moment of the post-war era. So everyone, as you can imagine, was incredibly high and grateful for their freedom and just to be alive, you know, to be reconciled with their loved ones. So that collective impulse to gather, to count heads, to document that everyone made it through, you know, it well, kind of like when we emerged from COVID lockdowns, but obviously on a much larger scale and much longer timeline and, you know, tragic, absolutely tragic. And none of these influences that drove the required big group photo are true today. Film is not scarce, but yes, still more expensive than digital. And the cultural feeling as a collective is not the same. And although it's a bit of a generalization, we're not as close to our extended families as we used to be, which I think makes it pretty practical to ask if the reasons the big group photo started no longer apply, then why are we still doing it? The other revelation that I'm not sure if you're aware of is that many, so what I mean is in my experience, most wedding photographers have complicated feelings about the big group shot too. So while most wedding photographers won't prevent a couple from having a big group photo, they either dread it or actively campaign against it. And you know, they have a discussion. Like if it gets brought up, they go, Well, I don't know if you really want it. And it's not because they're precious about their craft, but because in their experience of what they believe it does to your wedding day. Let me paint you an example of what I'm talking about here, because getting every guest into one frame takes a bit of time and a shit ton of patience, honestly. I often refer to it as herding cats, i.e., near impossible and ultimately futile. So it's post-ceremony and you're married, congratulations. And everyone has clapped and cheered for you, maybe hugged or kissed you. Depending on your guest numbers, you could be looking at anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes of your post-ceremony timeline, which is often the most beautiful natural light of the entire day, you know, prime time, you spend that time doing crowd control. And this is what it looks like. Your photographer and second shooter, if you have one, become unofficial traffic wardens. So they are calling out names, they are navigating mobility needs like walking sticks and walking aids, things like that. They're asking people to shuffle left and begging the height challenge guests to move in front of the giraffes in attendance. They're getting guests, you know, asking them to remove their sunglasses. Oh, their prescription. Oh, you can't see without them. No worries. No, that's fine, you keep them on. And then asking them to put down handbags, jackets, shawls, scarves, gifts, envelopes, you know, all those things that they're juggling. Meanwhile, the couple is standing in the middle of all of this, smiling on command, trying to be patient, not actually spending time with anyone. You know, they're standing beside them, they're not eating the canopies, they're not having a quiet moment together, and not having the kind of candid interaction with their people that makes for the photographs that they will actually love. Now, I'm not saying this to took you out of anything, I'm saying it because the time cost is real, and most couples do not fully account for it when they're building out their run sheet. So every minute that you spend on the big group photo is a minute you are not spending on something else. And that trade-off is, I think, really worth being intentional about. If you're motivated by the money side of things and you want to just get down to brass tacks, like talk to me about the monetary costs, Camille, have a listen to this. When you consider an average Australian wedding is over$38,000 now, every minute of your eight-hour wedding celebration averages out to$79 per minute. So that means it's$790 to$1,583 that you are spending for the privilege of having that big group photo taken, which is pretty bloody sobering when you break it down, right? I also want to bring up the acceleration of wedding trends in the last few years because I think it's relevant to your decision on whether or not you want to include a big group photo on your shot list. So I was messaging with Adelaide wedding photographer Luke from Luke John Photography, and he made an observation that I think explains a lot about where we are right now as far as wedding trends, expectations, those sort of things. Luke's view is that TikTok and Instagram reels have fundamentally changed the speed at which wedding trends cycle. So ideas reach more people faster, which then also means that they saturate faster, you know, everyone's sick of them faster, and they rotate out quicker. Like you see something everywhere for six months and then it's gone again, and something new has taken its place. So he is seeing couples who fall in love with a beautiful aesthetic at the start of their wedding planning journey and arrive sometimes, you know, 12 months out or six months out or on their wedding date to find it already feels dated to them. So he was talking just as an example about draping, like beautiful draping, generally sort of satin materials. So you know, they've got a bit of a glow to them. It started, you know, that sort of draping started as an isolated feature, a bit of a corner, an accent, um, sometimes just over the plinths where the flowers were. But now it's expanding, literally. It's um in entire entrances, it's entire ceremony spaces, it's covering parts of buildings. And the couples who are inspired by those first few understated examples of planning weddings that look nothing like what they originally envisioned. And Luke made another point that really landed for me. It's not just the speed of trends, it's the volume of ideas, the number of ideas that people are now exposed to during their wedding planning. So wedding inspiration, it used to come from a handful of magazines and blogs that were only released when the publisher cycle dictated, you know, um, maybe once a month. That was pretty frequent, to be honest, and sometimes, you know, twice a year. Now couples are swimming in a global feed of styles, aesthetics, and unlimited possibilities that are literally refreshing by the hour, which is so exciting. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing. But it also means the definition of what a wedding looks like is changing faster than it ever has in the past. So, what does this have to do with the big group photo? Everything. Because the big group photo is one of the more convention-driven elements of a wedding. Most couples include it not because they decided they want it, but because it was always done, at least in their, their parents', their grandparents' lifetime, right? And in a moment when couples are questioning almost every other tradition, the white dress, the bouquet or garter toss, the sit-down dinner, it is worth asking whether this one, the big group photo, deserves the same scrutiny. You still haven't written your vows yet, have you? Let me help. In around 20 minutes or so, you can easily write personalized wedding vows, unlike anything you've heard before, that will make your fiance feel like the most loved, understood, and appreciated person on the planet. The how to write wedding vows that don't suck. Instant download, 17-page PDF ebook, walks you through a step-by-step format for your vows and how to find the right words and phrases to describe your feelings and your fiance, how to write that crucial first draft, and create your final wedding vows masterpiece. So if you don't know how or even where to start, if you've been Googling your little heart out, or if you've been calling them wedding vows, A E-I-O-U, this ebook is for you. Included in there are also some bonus secrets for getting the most out of your wedding ceremony. So make sure you download your copy right now and get right your wedding vows crossed off your to-do list today. The link is in the show notes. Now I want to chat about the legacy question. And here's where I want to slow down because I think the most important conversation about the big group photo is not actually about logistics or about the money. It is about what the image is actually for. And I do not mean what you'll do with it in the next few months because there's no real argument about that. In a highly scientific controlled study that I did on the Unbridly Instagram stories last week, I actually didn't hear from a single married couple who had printed and displayed their big group photo. And it's not an image that's readily available to them, but the couples know they have one and it's kept somewhere really safe. So what I am talking about is what that photo might mean in 20 years or 40 years, and it's not necessarily for you either, but it might be for your children or your grandchildren. Because here is the thing about a full guest lineup photographs. It is a document, it is a record of every single person, you hope you've got them all who showed up for you on one of the most significant days of your life. You hope your grandparents, your parents' oldest friends, maybe uh people who have traveled across the country or around the world to be there for you. People who, in some cases, will not be around for the next big milestone event. I chatted with Melbourne photographer Marcel Vanderhorst this week, and we were musing over the legacy of a big group wedding photo, because for many couples, the people gathered at their wedding will almost certainly never all be in the same room again. And that changes what a photograph means. Marcel also noticed something else about how the guest numbers can impact on that meaning as well. So for smaller gatherings, let's just say under 50 people for argument's sake, he has found that the group photo carries real emotional connective weight because everyone is likely to know everyone else, and the gathering for the photo and the photo itself reflects a genuine community. But when you get to 100 plus guests with the Christmas once-a-year cousins and the last minute plus ones who barely know the couple, that sense of community starts to dilute a bit. The photo, the big group photo, then, it just becomes more of a head count or social proof than a reflection of your relationships or your connections. And I think that is a really helpful reframe, pun intended, because the question is not just do we want a group photo, but maybe more what and who is this group that we're taking a photo of, and what does a photo of them actually mean to us? If your guest list is genuinely your closest people, the ones who will be at your table for decades to come, that photograph carries a different weight than if it's a broad mix of family obligations and passing work colleagues and people your parents insisted on inviting. So, lots of different thoughts about the big group photo, where it came from and what it means now, but what can you actually do with all of this? So I have come up with four questions to work through with your fiance and maybe your photographer before you finalize that shot list. And don't worry, it's super simple. Question one: why do you want a group photo? And that's not why do couples have it or why does my mother want it? Why do you want it? Is there a real reason this photo would mean something to you both? Is there something about having your whole community in one image that holds real significance for you? If yes, then that's a completely valid reason on its own. Make sure you include it, awesome. But if the honest answer is because it's just what you do, we move on to question two. Who is in the room? So Marcel's point about your guest count matters here, I think. If your wedding is a tight gathering of people who know and love each other, the group photo reflects a network of treasured relationships. If it's a larger mix with more peripheral connections, if you like, I often refer to it as the social onion, you know, you and your fiance are in the middle, and then it goes out to your immediate family, it goes out and out and out with the layers, right? If you're including the entire fucking onion, ask yourself whether a photo of the whole group tells the story you actually want told, or whether smaller, more intentional groupings would do that better and maybe save you some time. Question three, who might value this photo in the future? So this is the legacy question. Think beyond yourself and your own lifespan. Are there people in that room, namely grandparents, elderly relatives, people whose health is uncertain, who might not be at the next event? Is there a future version of your family? Maybe children you haven't had yet, who might one day want to see that photo? Sometimes the group photo is not for you and not for right now. So it can be for someone else later, if that's what you value, of course. And question four, what would you do instead of a big group photo? So if you freed up that 10 to 20 minutes of your post-ceremony window timeline, what would you use it for? Would it be more time with your new husband, your wife, your spouse for a couple portraits at Golden Hour? Does it mean more time floating between your guests and actually getting to attend your own cocktail hour, just like Tess and Michael from episode 178, 8 brilliant wedding tweaks from my smart couple and how to steal them? I'm gonna link that episode in the show notes. Would it mean a longer sit down with the people you haven't seen in years or those who have traveled to be with you? Often, when couples map out what they would actually choose to do with the time, the big group photo starts to look a lot less important than necessary. So, all of this said, if you've worked through these four questions and the big group photo still feels right for you, then how can you do it in a way that doesn't totally derail your timeline? Crucially, number one, brief your vendor team. So, photographer, videographer, content creator, um, MC, efficient, or celebrant in advance, the announcement that they make needs to be clear, specific, and timed correctly as well. So most of the time it's immediately after the ceremony before the guest is. Disperse, that's the best window of opportunity because once people have scattered to the bar and canapes, you will spend twice as long rounding them back up and you will definitely miss someone. Tip number two, have a designated group Wrangler or photo captain. While photo captains generally help with the smaller family and group photos, there's no reason they couldn't assist in at least starting to bring everyone together for the all-in big group photo as well. This is not your photographer's job, or at least it shouldn't be. Assign someone who knows your guests well and has a loud voice. Their only job is to help guide guests into position efficiently. It makes an enormous difference. Some photographers prefer to round everyone up themselves and they use it as a chance to introduce themselves to your guests. So find out how your photographer wants to work and follow their lead. I've got an episode all about photo captains, who they are, what they do, and how to make sure you pick a great one. It's episode 38, yes, you need a photo captain, or two, and this is why, with Valentina Perez Studio, and I'll be linking that episode in the show notes. Tip number three, confirm the logistics with your photographer ahead of the day if you can. If it's possible, to find out where they want to shoot the big group photo, then work it out. Are there a couple of options, depending on the light and the weather at the time? Uh, will they need elevation for a large group or will they bring a stepladder with them? Agree in advance, yeah, a block of time. So tell your photographer, if we don't get it in 10 minutes, that's it. And after that you move on. Knowing that boundary helps everyone work just more efficiently within it. Talk it through. So even if there are a couple of options, no one is surprised or trying to problem solve on the spot on the day. And tip four, keep those smaller intentional groups on your list too. So the Netbull team, the Kentiki Tour group, or all of the high school friends. Don't let the big group photo crowd them out if they are who is super important to you. Those are the ones that capture specific relationships and they're the photos that you'll almost always come back to later on. The big group photo has been a wedding staple for so long that most couples never question whether they actually need to do it. But like a lot of wedding conventions, it's worth asking, does this exist because it's meaningful or because no one ever stopped to ask why are we doing it? Maybe for you the answer is yes. It's a document, a legacy, that record of everyone who showed up. Or maybe the answer's no, and the time cost outweighs the value. Maybe smaller intentional groups tell your story better. Either way, I hope this episode means you are making that decision because you mean it and not by default. A big thank you to Marcel Vanderhorst from Melbourne and Luke John here in Adelaide for taking the time to share their perspectives with me this week. I will add a link to both of their websites in the show notes. And if you want to share where you've landed on the big group photo debate and whether you were deciding to keep it, to ditch it, or to do something completely different, come over and find me on Instagram at Umbridly. I'd love to hear about what you did. And until next time, celebrate your peep. That about wraps it up for this episode of the Umbradly Podcast. For the links and resources we mentioned, please head to the show notes. And if you love the show, please review and subscribe on the podcast platform you're on now so you don't miss out on a single episode. Thanks so much for listening and remember, weddings are a team sport. Catch you soon.