185: Who Do You Tip At A Wedding, And Is There A Better Way?

How do you make sure your vendors know what an incredible contribution they made to your wedding and what it meant to you?

In the United States, the answer is tips and gratuity. It's expected, it's budgeted for, and on an average wedding they add thousands of dollars to a bill engaged couples are already pushed to afford.

I recently polled the Unbridely Suppliers Facebook group about this topic. They are all Australian wedding vendors, and their answer was something completely different. 

So it got me thinking: when a vendor works for themselves and has the privilege of setting their own prices, is a tip really what they need/want? Or is it just the most convenient way for a couple to feel like they've said thank you properly. And is there a better, easier and yes, cheaper way to do it that actually means more to everyone involved? 

RESOURCES

1. The Knot 2026 Real Weddings Study theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost
2. Zola 2026 Wedding Spend Survey zola.com/expert-advice/whats-the-average-cost-of-a-wedding
3. The Wedding Report 2025 wedding.report/action/wedding_statistics/view/market/id/00/idtype/s/location/United_States/
4. SoFi January 2026 sofi.com/learn/content/average-wedding-cost/
5. Fortunly Wedding Cost Statistics 2026 fortunly.com/statistics/wedding-cost-statistics/
6. The Global Statistics, Wedding Cost Statistics US 2026 theglobalstatistics.com/wedding-cost-statistics-in-us/
7. North American Community Hub nchstats.com/wedding-cost-in-united-states/

Vendor Tipping Amounts & Etiquette

1. Emmaline Bride 2026 Vendor Tipping Guide emmalinebride.com/planning/who-to-tip-at-wedding/
2. MasterClass Wedding Tipping Etiquette masterclass.com/articles/how-much-to-tip-wedding-vendors
3. WeddingTipCalculator.com 2026 weddingtipcalculator.com/how-much-to-tip-wedding-vendors/
4. TheWeddingPlanner.ai theweddingplanner.ai/wedding-vendor-tipping-guide
5. Mike Staff Productions 2026 mikestaff.com/wedding-ideas/how-much-to-tip-wedding-vendors/
6. Reel Vendor Network reelvendornetwork.com/wedding-vendor-tipping-guide/
7. Watson Block Wedding Tipping Cheat Sheet watsonblock.com/blog/your-wedding-vendor-tipping-cheat-sheet/
8. Michelle Leo Events michelleleoevents.com/blog/tipping-wedding-vendors
9. Marryment marryment.com/post/a-guide-to-tipping-your-wedding-vendors
10. You're The Bride yourethebride.com/tip-your-wedding-vendors/
11. The Drunk Wedding Photographer thedrunkweddingphotographer.com/summerimperfect/tipping-wedding-vendors

UK Tipping & Wage Law  https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/distributing-tips-fairly-statutory-code-of-practice

Canadian Tipping & Wage Law: https://minwage-salairemin.service.canada.ca/en/general.html

Send Unbridely a 90-second audio message on Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/unbridelypodcast

*The Unbridely Podcast is sponsored by its listeners. When you purchase products or services through links on our website or via the podcast, we may earn an affiliate commission.*

------

This episode of the Unbridely Modern Wedding Planning Podcast is brought to you by WedSites.com, Unbridely's recommended all-in-one wedding website builder, guest management platform & wedding planning tool.

Visit WedSites.com to get started on your FREE wedding website and use code UNBRIDELYPOD to get 10% off any of their paid plans.

-----

Unbridely acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we record this podcast on, the Kaurna People. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Picture two vendors from your wedding day. The first one saved it. Maybe your florist arrived a bit early, realized the ceremony arch was missing half its flowers because the wholesaler had shorted the order, and sorted it before you ever knew there was a problem. Or your photographer spotted that the light was about to disappear and moved your entire wedding party in 60 seconds flat to get the shot that is now on your wall. Whatever absolutely outstanding looks like for you, you know the type, the person that brought something extra to your day that maybe wasn't in the contract, but made all the difference. And the second vendor showed up and did what they were paid to do. But honestly, you can't remember much more about them beyond that. So here's the question How do you make sure the first vendor knows what an incredible contribution they made and what it meant to you both? In the United States, the answer is tips and gratuity. It's expected, it's budgeted for an on-an-average wedding, they add thousands of dollars to a bill that engaged couples are already pushed to afford. I recently polled the Unbridly Suppliers Facebook group about this topic, and they are all Australian wedding vendors. So their answer was something completely different. So it got me thinking, when a vendor works for themselves and has the privilege of setting their own prices, is a tip really what they need slash want? Or is it just the most convenient way for a couple to feel like they've said thank you properly? And that's what this episode is about. I think the answer might surprise you wherever in the world you're getting married. So let's get stuck into it. Unbridly is a community of pro-wedding vendors who believe in freedom and integrity in weddings, giving you options, solutions, tips and tricks to create the experience and memories that you and your fiance really want and deserve. Because we believe that weddings are a team sport with how-to's, stories and interviews with recently married couples. We find out what went right and what they've changed if they could go back and do it all over again. I'm Camille and welcome to the Unbridly Podcast. Before I start throwing around generalizations, this episode has a split audience, and I'm going to speak to both sides directly. A little over half of you listening right now are based in the United States, and the rest are mostly here in Australia, with a solid spread elsewhere around the world too. And the topic today, vendor tipping and gratuity, plays out very differently depending on where you're getting married. I'm coming at this from close to two decades in the Australian wedding industry. My lived expertise is right here, but I've done the research on the US side. The numbers are very real, and the poll I ran with my Australian vendor colleagues threw up some results I genuinely wasn't expecting, which I'll be sharing throughout this episode. So here's where we're going. We'll look at why the tipping and gratuity culture exists in the US and the economics behind it. I'll unpack what it actually costs in real dollar terms. We'll go through the poll results and what they reveal about what vendors actually want. And I'll finish up with a practical takeaway for both US and other engaged couples who are listening from all around the world because the specifics differ, but the underlying question is the same for everyone. How do you thank the people who really showed up for you and who went above and beyond on your wedding day? To understand why tipping and gratuity is such an embedded part of US weddings, you have to go back to where it all came from because it didn't start in the wedding industry and it's never really been about weddings at all. Tipping culture in the United States is rooted in a specific and dare I say it, deeply problematic history of labor law. Service industry workers, so your hospitality workers or any employee who literally serves you, have historically been paid what are called subminimum wages, with the legal expectation that tips would make up the difference between that sub-minimum and something that a person could actually live on. As at recording this, there are 18 states, 18.18 states in the United States right now, where the base wage for a tipped worker is $2.13 per hour. And this rate is set by federal law and it hasn't changed since 2009. I mean, that's a ridiculous amount, right? The tip isn't a bonus. In those states, it's considered the wage itself. The employer didn't pay it to the employee, the government didn't mandate, you know, force them to, so the customer makes up the difference. And over time, that has become so normalized in American culture that it stopped feeling like a structural problem with wages and it started to feel like this is just how we do things, which is fair enough, right? No hate. And this history matters because it explains why tipping in the US carries very real social weight. When a United States engaged couple doesn't tip their catering team or their bar staff, those workers may actually go home having earned less than a living wage for, you know, eight, ten, twelve-hour day. And this is not a what if. This is the system that they're living and working in. And so the expectation around tipping in the US wedding market isn't just etiquette. For some vendors and their staff, it is literally the difference between a viable day's work and one that really wasn't worth showing up for. Now let's have a look at Australia because the contrast is quite stark. The minimum wage here as of mid-2025 is over $23 an hour. And in addition, workers in hospitality and events, they get penalty rates on weekends and public holidays, like more than that. Which is when, you know, most weddings happen on the weekends, right? When an Australian vendor quotes you their fee, the labor cost is all priced in. So there's no gap for the engaged couple to fill. Because the system, you know, the standards of wages, etc., it doesn't enforce that there'll be a gap. Which is also why tipping here in Australia looks the way it does. So Australians absolutely do tip. If you're at a great restaurant and the service has been exceptional, many of us will leave something. Some people round up, some people just leave a certain cash amount, you know, it doesn't matter how much the bill is, it's it's very uh variable, but it's a gesture, it's not an obligation, and there's no stigma if you don't tip. At weddings in the mainstream Australian market, vendor tipping barely registers as a conversation. Because as we understand it, the deal is very simple. You pay your vendor the fee that they quote, and that's what the work is worth. The one little gray part worth naming is that within some multicultural communities here, including but not limited to Italian, Greek, uh, Lebanese, Chinese wedding traditions, there are long-standing customs around gifts, sometimes envelopes of gifts, as expressions of thanks and respect. But they're more meaningful cultural practices, not sort of a generalized industry expectation. For our Canadian friends, they've got a different playing field. So although Canada sits much closer to Australia than to the US structurally with their wages, there is no separate federal tipped minimum wage in Canada. Most provinces in Canada, they mandate that tipped workers receive the full general minimum wage. The one notable exception is Quebec, which maintains a separate lower rate for workers who regularly receive tips, and that is about $12.60 per hour. And that's, you know, like the US, based on the assumption that the tips will bring in a total compensation above the general rate, you know, enough to live off. Tipping at weddings is expected in some Canadian markets, but framed as an appreciation rather than an obligation. So more like Australia than the US. And in the UK, they are the most structurally similar to Australia as far as wages go, out of the four countries I'm going to speak about today. All UK businesses must pay their staff the national living wage. That's their legal minimum. And unlike the US, businesses can't rely on tips to make up that amount. An employer can't give a smaller amount, going, yeah, you'll get the rest on tips. Tips and gratuities cannot count toward the minimum wage under the UK law, regardless of how they're processed. At weddings specifically, tipping wedding suppliers is not expected or customary in the UK. And some wedding suppliers include service charges or gratuities in their contracts. So it eliminates the need for any additional tips. I don't know how I feel about that, but that's, you know, each to their own, right? UK vendors themselves generally love a positive review. I mean, I guess everyone does. A word of mouth referral or a handwritten card, it means just as much as a monetary tip, you know, the cash money. So we have very different labor wage structures that influence the to tip or not to tip culture. And two very different sets of expectations sitting underneath the same question. How do you acknowledge the people who worked on your wedding day? And here's where it gets interesting. Because when I went and actually asked Australian vendors what they wanted, what they came back with was a little eye-opening and excellent news for engaged couples too. Before I dig into that, I want to give my US listeners a very clear picture of what this tipping expectation actually looks like in dollar terms. I think a lot of couples underestimate it until they're already very deep into planning, and then it comes as a nasty shock. So depending on which source you're looking at, the average US wedding in 2026 runs somewhere between $34 and $36,000. But here's the missing part that sometimes people don't mention. The median, meaning the midpoint of what couples actually spend, is closer to $18,000. So the average gets pulled up by the high-end weddings. When you're actually talking about the median spend, that is closer to $18,000. According to Zola's 2026 wedding spend survey, tips and gratuities on top of that are typically between 9 and 15% of the final bill. So if you're looking at that $36,000 wedding, that's an extra $3,200 to $5,400. Not for any additional service. That's just in tips handed out at the end of the day that you've already paid for in full. And here's how it breaks down by your different vendor category in the US market. So your catering and bar staff, I mean, to me that makes sense because they are your service staff who are likely not to be paid a full minimum wage. Generally, they are 15 to 20% of the total food and beverage bill. So on a $6,000 catering spend, that's up to $1,200 extra dollars. And this is if gratuity isn't already written into your contract. So you do need to have a look at that. You need to check your contract before you assume that it hasn't been included because some venues build it in and some don't. With hair and makeup, typically 15 to 20% gratuity, which is around the same as a regular salon visit. If you're a makeup artist, your hairstylist, charges $200 per person and there are four people they're getting ready, you're looking at over $150 in tips there. For photographers and videographers, generally the tip and gratuity is not based on the amount of money that you've spent on the photographer and videographer, and it's closer to just a token cash amount. So on the conservative end, $200. And some US planning guides suggest a $400 per person generous tip for your media team per person. For DJs, 10 to 15% of the contracted fee. So a wedding planner and coordinator, anywhere from $100 to 10% of their total fee on top of what you've already paid them. Floris, um, apparently, technically optional, which is incredible given the amount of work they do. But for a large custom installation, some US guides suggest between $500 to $1,000 tip only. Add it up, and you're well past $1,000 extra at the low end of wedding budgets. On a larger wedding, $5,000 in tips is apparently not unusual. So if you're in the US, I've got a few practical notes here to help you with this. Firstly, read. Read everything you're given and make sure you check every vendor contract for a gratuity clause before you sign it. So you know what's already included. You know, you know your final bill. If you're working with a planner, ask them right at the start, super early, to help you build in a tipping line into the budget, not as an afterthought in the final week, a bit of a panic, a bit of uh, have you got your envelopes sorted? No, that's just it's way too much stress. And if your budget is super tight, the research I'll share in a moment suggests that a smaller tip paired with a specific personal note actually lands better than a larger tip handed over without any personal acknowledgement. Which brings me to the poll. If you had a sweary, chocolate-addicted wine-sipping fairy godmother who could help you with your wedding planning, what would you wish for? Perhaps no more waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, wondering what you've forgotten, or fretting about your RSVPs? Maybe no more spreadsheets or post-it notes or endless to-do lists. Well, I can help you with all of that. WedSites is an Australian wedding website builder, guest management software, and wedding project planner all in one. Why is this such a game changer for you? Well, imagine everything to do with your wedding being in one place, updated in real time in the cloud, shareable to anyone else that's helping you, password protected for your guests, with notifications to tell you what needs to be done next and by when. It's amazing, right? I love how easy websites is to set up and news, and how there are no ads on the platform yelling at you to spend more money on your wedding. To get started on your very own free wedding website, just head to websites.com, that's W E D S I T E S dot com and enter the code unbridlypod, that's unbridly P O D, to get 10% off their paid planning tools. The link is in the show notes. So I put a question to my Australian wedding vendor colleagues recently, asking them firstly if they received tips, because I had heard some whispers that it had become a thing here in Australia, and I was surprised. And I thought, I'd better go out, I'd better ask, I'd better double check. You never know. You know, maybe I wasn't getting tips, and other people were. So I asked the question. And then I wanted to know what they actually value when it comes to being acknowledged by a couple after their wedding day. And, you know, it's it's not just we've gone out and done a job, and you know, then we expect a whole bunch of praise. Oh, geez. Eight times out of ten at a wedding, a professional wedding vendor solves so many issues and fixes so many potential problems and does so much extra work over and above. That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fixing things behind the scenes that no one ever sees and averting disasters generally. The overwhelming response to my first question, are you getting tips? In Australia at least, tipping has not become commonplace. But it was also not completely unheard of. There were some instances when a dad or a drunk uncle offered some cash to a celebrant or MC at the end of the night to say thanks for an outstanding effort. There was a story of a roving sax player who sometimes gets notes pushed into the bell of his instrument. Ew, soggy bills. And one photographer in particular regularly receives imported delicacies and top shelf spirits as gifts. But most of them responded with some version of, what tip? What am I missing? And one vendor said that she'd never expected a tip in her career and has never felt the absence of receiving one. So when I pushed a bit further and I asked them what do they actually want, three things came up again and again. A great review. And this doesn't mean a generic one. So a great review is a specific, detailed review, testimonial, whatever you want to call it, that talks about what this vendor actually did on the day, what problems they might have solved, what they did that wasn't in the brief. You know, it wasn't in the contract, they never thought they'd have to do it, but they did. And they either saved the day or made the wedding day measurably better for the couple. Because for a small business owner who sets their own prices and finds their own clients, a well-written review, either emailed or online or on social media, is one of the most powerful things a couple can give them. A great review builds the kind of trust that no amount of word of mouth can fully replicate and it compounds. So one vendor put it very plainly, it helps me reach more couples and keeps my business alive. Perfect. So it's important and really appreciated too. Now I know that that's not a polite thing to say. Please give me a review. It's really hard. But it's a real statement about how small creative businesses grow and continue to work. The other aspect of online recognition is tagging wedding vendors in social media posts. This is my awesome wedding. These are the vendors that made it happen. I recommend them. And that's for free. Like these things are for free. Just doing that is so seriously helpful, thoughtful, valuable, and an amazing boost to a sense of recognition and purpose, as well as getting new jobs in the future as well. It's just, it's so wonderful to hear that you've done a great job and your couple knows you've done a great job, and they say it like publicly. Wedding vendors don't just work for the recognition and the praise, but they also wouldn't say no to a kind word here or there. The other thing that came up was a card that actually means something. So not a printed thank you card from a stationary set, but a note handwritten that references something specific. Again, the specificity is key here. Maybe it's a moment that the vendor created for you, or it references a problem that they solved, something personal that they did that you noticed, or maybe a way that they made you feel. A note shows that you noticed the extra effort that they put in. And that can change your vendor's entire season. Seriously, they will put in more for the next couple and the couple after that and be happier people with that sort of recognition. So multiple vendors that I've spoken to over the years have described how they've held on to notes from couples for a very long time, like years and years. And the last thing was a small gift that shows that the couple was paying attention. So this one came up more than I expected. And the examples people gave were quite telling because the gifts are not usually expensive. Expensive, not elaborate, they're just thoughtful. So one photographer describes being given her favorite energy drinks the morning after a wedding. Because the couple have been following her on socials, they noticed what she liked. She talked about them a bit. It's under $20. And she described it as one of the most genuinely touching things that a couple had ever done for her. Now, it wasn't because of what it cost, but it was because they'd been paying attention to who she was as a person, not just as a vendor. You know? It's really hard, I think, for newly engaged couples to understand the transaction of working with a wedding vendor. Because it's not like you're going into a store and you put money down and you take your goods with you. It's very, very personal. This is the thread that runs through all of the responses. What vendors want, what most people want, if we're honest, is to feel seen and appreciated. Not necessarily monetarily compensated, although most vendors said I wouldn't knock it back, but they want to be seen and respected for what they do. Because in the real world, wedding vendors are looked down upon. Generally, they're just these quirky, creative, random people who don't work on a Monday or Tuesday, who run around all weekend, they skip family dinners, they skip time with their families on the weekends. And it's just fucking refreshing for someone to go, I see you. Thank you. Really appreciate it. It's like, oh, that that'll get me through. That'll get me through for the next season. And all of this raises an important point about the tipping system, not just here in Australia, but anywhere. When a vendor sets their own prices and runs their own business and the couple hands over a cash tip at the end of the night, is that a genuine appreciation? Or is that just a transaction dressed up like a genuine appreciation? Is it the easiest way to discharge a social obligation without actually having to think about the person in front of you? I'm not saying tips don't matter, especially in the US, where the labor economics make them absolutely necessary. But I think the poll results point to something really important. The tip alone, without any personal acknowledgement, may be the least meaningful version of a thank you that's available to you. And here's the best part some of the most meaningful versions of a thank you are completely free. Hella fucking louia. So let's make this super practical for all our soon-to-be-weds globally. If you're planning a wedding in the United States, I recommend that you build tips and gratuity into your budget from the day dot, not as a nasty surprise at the end. A working estimate of keep a nice round number, like 10%, of your total vendor spend. That's a reasonable baseline, and you can adjust it for your specific vendor mix, you know, who you're booking in. Read every contract really closely for a gratuity clause before you sign and talk to your planner early about who expects what because norms they can vary a lot by vendor category and then state and then region. Prepare your tip envelopes in advance and hand them to someone you trust to actually give out on the day. So whether that is your planner, a family member, or a close member of your wedding party, you don't want to be thinking about this as you're at your reception or as you're leaving or as you're back in the hotel and you go, shit. And here's the thing that my poll results reinforce for me, and I think it applies just as much in the US as it does here. The tip alone is great, but it doesn't really touch the sides of what your vendors are in it for. If a wedding vendor who saved your wedding day gets an envelope of cash with no note, no acknowledgement, not even an email thank you that indicates that you know what they did, then that's a bit of a missed opportunity. Write the note two minutes, that's all. Be specific, put it in the envelope with the tip, and that's the difference between a transaction and a real measurable thank you that both of you will feel so good about. And there's even more in it for you. Seriously, it will improve your memories of your own wedding and boost the sense of gratitude for everyone all round. If you're planning a wedding in Australia, Canada, the UK, or the like, you don't owe your vendors a tip, and you can let go of the anxiety about that. The market isn't structured that way, and your vendors know it. You are paying their fee, and their fee is what they've decided their work is worth. And what my super scientific poll makes clear is that what your vendors actually want from you is a great review, or a mention, or a tag on social media if you can't do a review. Perhaps a card that shows you appreciated them. And if you want to go a step further, it's not necessary, but will honestly make their year a small gift that reflects who they are. Now, a lot of this is free, and none of it costs a heap. All of it means so much more than cash money. For couples who are planning within a cultural community, we're gifting vendors, it's an established tradition, you know, find out what the expected norms are and honor it fully. Those customs and tradition, they carry real meaning for your people, for your community, and you can feel comfortable to practice them, just find out what they are early again and make sure you work that into your budget. And for all engaged couples globally, once your day has come and gone, take a moment to think about the vendor who made all the difference to you, the one who sorted the problem before you even knew there was one, the one who moved heaven and earth to save the shot. Think about what you'd want them to know about what that meant to you, and then actually tell them in writing with their name on it. That's the thank you that means something. It enriches your experience and it gives your vendor a reason to go over and above for the next engaged couple. And then we just keep paying it forward time and time again. It's beautiful. That's it for today. I would love to know whether this episode landed differently, depending on where in the world you're listening from. So come and find me on Instagram at Unbridly and tell me what you think. Especially if you're a US listener with feelings about the tipping system, because I think that's a discussion worth expanding on and having out loud. If you found this episode useful, sharing it with another couple who's deep in the planning process right now is the best thing you can do for me and the Unbridly Podcast. So while we're talking about it, thank you for your time and attention, for subscribing and perhaps leaving an honest review about how I helped you. It means everything to me. And until next time, celebrate your people. That about wraps it up for this episode of the Unbradly Podcast. For the links and resources we mentioned, please head to the show notes. And if you love the show, please review and subscribe on the podcast platform you're on now so you don't miss out on a single episode. Thanks so much for listening, and remember, weddings are a team sport. Catch it soon.